Well the holy days are now officially over. Sukkot ended and it was a bit confusing is not the right word. I was not sure what to expect. It is a pilgrimage holiday when the Jews were supposed to travel to the temple in Jerusalem. You also build sukkah which has three to four walls can be covered in anything and the roof needs to be cut vegetation and you must be able to see the stars thru it. I did not know what to make from this but after talking to my rabbi about it she explained that there is a desire in Judaism to recreate events to remember how it was and to also remind the Jews of today that we all have these trials today. We are all lost in the desert so to speak and by building the sukkah we can remind ourselves of that.
We did not build a sukkah this year in our yard because it just seemed unnecessary to me but after my conversation with my rabbi I know that next year I will have a sukkah in my backyard. You also are supposed to have the four species lulav (date palm leave), hadass (myrtle tree leaves), and aravah (branch and leaves of a willow tree). Those three are bound together and then you have your etrog (fruit of a citron tree) and you wave them to acknowledge that God is all around and also by doing this you are doing a mitzvah that is in the torah.
There are two different opinions as to why we are to have the four species. One has to do with taste and smell also known as good deeds and torah learning. The lulav has taste but no smell with taste being the study of torah and the lack of smell being lacking of good deeds. The hadass has good smell with no taste. The aravah has neither taste or smell and the citron has both taste and smell. You guessed it you want to be the citron, you want to learn torah and all of its teachings and do good deeds or mitvoat. The second explanation is the four species represent body parts. The lulav is your spine so you can stand tall in your worship of God. The hadrass is your eye so you can read and learn torah. The aravah is your mouth so you can teach torah and ask questions. The citron is your heart so that it is open to the torah, God and doing mitzvoat.
It is a seven day holiday if you live in Israel but eight days outside of Israel (diaspora). It is a holiday of symbolism and learning. I am not sure if it happens every year but this year we also finished the torah and started over. There was a service for this and it was unusual for me. There was lots of dancing and clapping and having grown up christian I was not used to this at all so was taken aback but it was fun to watch and now I am a little more prepared for it next year when I will be Jewish. The part that is the most exciting to me is just starting over from the beginning and being able to hear it all and now i can read it on my own if I am unable to make it to services and learn what it has to offer. I admit I did not pay attention in church to often except for the constant you are evil and you are going to hell if you dont repent now talk so it will be good to hear it and read it now that I want to not because I have to go to church.
Tomorrow is mitzvah day and I am looking forward to it. The day after Yom Kippur we got together as a group and synagogue and sorted food that was donated during the holy days food drive. We sorted for the kosher food pantry and for Harvesters here in Kansas City. It is amazing to be able to do something so easy and yet it will touch so many people that I will never meet but I know I did something to help. Tomorrow is mitzvah day and there are a bunch of different tasks going on at synagogue, making dry soup mixes, sorting more food, leaf raking. Lots of options to help people in the community and in the Jewish community! It is going to be great to be social and get to do a mitzvah.
Well hopefully you learned a little something about Sukkot because I know I have learned a lot about a holiday that didnt seem that important and know that next year with my better understanding it will be more meaningful! The next stop on the holiday calendar is Chanukah and that means candles and potato latkes and much more but I have not learned about that in class yet.
Thank you for joining me on another step on my journey to Jewish and I hope that you have learned something because I know I have but I still have so much to learn that it seems a daunting journey but I chose to start this and I am choosing to continue. Shavuah Tov
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Yom Kippur 5772
It is the day of Yom Kippur and I thought I would take some time and work on my blog a little and do some learning and some soul searching and fill you in on my Yom Kippur and what I took away from it.
I have to admit I was not sure what to expect so I don’t have any comparisons but the only way I can describe it is that is has been very intense. I worked until it officially started so I started my fast a little late but that part of it has not been to bad really but it really keeps you thinking and one of the things it has very much made me aware of is hunger and the homeless. There are so many families out there that are in need of food so my partner and I try to pick up some extra non perishable food when we go to the store to put in the barrels at synagogue but we could do more. I walk past homeless people in the plaza all the time and I don’t give them any money because I usually don’t carry cash but I could help them in some way and I need to figure out how that way is because unfortunately I cant give every homeless person I encounter money. These are two easy things I could do to help another human being out…these are things I SHOULD do to help other human beings out. Not only is it a mitzvah it is just the right thing to do to keep the scales tilting in the direction of good.
I was able to go to the Kol Nidre service and was amazed and in awe. The prayer book is different then the one I am used to so I got lost and there is no transliteration so that made it hard as well, since by the time I was able to read one Hebrew word they were two pages ahead. I discussed the fact I kept getting lost with my partner and he pointed out that perhaps it was a good thing because I was not just reading words I didn't know the meaning to I was reading the English and meditating on what I was reading. I participated in the English portions, listened to the choir sing and would read ahead. There was one point in the evening that I thought I would have to leave I was fighting back tears as I was reading and the haunting melody of the choir was singing. I was able to do a lot of thinking and reading and was left a little uplifted but more so felt emotionally vulnerable from the stand point that I felt like I opened myself up to God and truly asked for forgiveness for all of my sins. I know what some of my sins were of course because I committed them but still being on the start of my journey I am not sure what all of my sins were so a lot of my prayers and thoughts were centered on in this coming year and in all of the coming years how/what can I do to make me a better person in human kinds eyes but more importantly in Gods eyes. I took this my first Yom Kippur as asking for forgiveness for forty-four years of not living up to Gods expectations and now as I learn what God asks of me to honor those requests to the best of my ability and move toward becoming what God had in mind for me when I was born.
The sermon of the evening was talking about being the real you and letting people know the real you. I never thought much about that because people know the real me and as the Rabbi continued I began to realize that there are levels of me that people know. My good friends truly know me and everything that goes on in my life the good, the bad, and the ugly. My facebook friends now when I get coffee, a new job, or that I don’t want to get out of bed. My work friends know a little less about me but now the challenge is to let them all know me so that I am being true to myself. There is a bit of a balance to this because even though they are friends some fall into the category of you are friends at work but probably would not do social things with but on some levels they deserve to know the real me as well and I owe it to myself to always let them know the real me warts and all so to speak. Life is messy and we are all in it together so perhaps we can help each other clean it up.
The morning service was equally as thought provoking but the one aspect I found so very interesting was the talk by the Rabbi. She was talking about “What Does God Ask of Me?” and it was an exercise that we were to partner up with and do for a few minutes. Those always scare me because I always feel like I don’t have the knowledge or the background to do. Thru this process I have often thought it would have just been so much easier if I was born jewish and trust me it would have been but this journey that I am lucky enough to be able to take is going to help make me the person and the jew that I want to become. I don’t have the years of Hebrew, of the school, of going to synagogue but I do have a choice and by making this choice I am going to learn all I can.
The congregation was divided up and each section had text from the bible to read and discuss. There are three categories Faith (belief in God), Deeds (observing mitzvot), Character (refining one’s character). Our section was about keeping Shabbat from Isaiah 58:13-14. There were then five discussion questions.
1. Is this text about Faith, Deeds, or Character? To me it is all about Faith and Character and it was cut and dry until I learned that mitzvot is also a commandment and then the answer was clearly all three. Faith and Deeds are not pretty self explanatory but Character is where you have to be a better person to make sure you follow this commandment and keep the Shabbat holy.
2. What is the challenge proposed in the text? That is also pretty self explanatory, you keep Shabbat holy but the real challenge in this day is trying to shut off the outside world. I honestly do not need to be on my phone texting or on facebook or watching tv when I could be reading or even better yet spending Shabbat with friends and family. This is going to be one of my challenges for this new year to not fall into the rut but to keep Shabbat special and unlike the other 6 days.
3. What is the reward for meeting the challenge? To me there are really two rewards for this challenge short term and long term. The short term reward is having that special day every week where you turn everything off and spend either a quiet Shabbat or spend it with friends and family lighting candles and having Shabbat dinner together and talking and getting to know the real people. The long term reward is an eternal life of basking in the glow of God and being closer to God.
4. Is this a reward that has value in your life today? Absolutely, as my journey continues I want to make sure to keep Shabbat holy by going to services, lighting candles, having dinner with friends and family. It goes back to the answers above and by doing that I will know the true friend or family member and they will know the true me.
5. In what ways does being a citizen that shows up on Friday nights at Beth Torah enable you to do what God asks for in this text? I love Friday night services! I can not think of a better way to end the work week and the week by going to be with my new friends and family, singing and praying and just letting the week go in preparation for a special day like no other day of the week. I do tend to be shy so I need to step out of my shell and put forth more effort on my part to let my new friends and family at Beth Torah get to know the real me and that is going to be part of my challenge for this new year so that they really know me when I finally become a member of the family!
Ne’ilah service was again a mix of emotion running from highs to lows. We were still asking for forgiveness as the gates were closing but it felt like it was in a more optimistic way. We still acknowledged all of our failures and there was still time to do some soul searching but if you had not done much of it before hand your time was limited. There was one point I really thought I was going to have to leave because I was having a very hard time holding back the tears because during one song I just had this overwhelming feeling of my mother! It was happy and it was sad because I miss her so much but I know she would have very much enjoyed all the services and it made me very aware that she is and always will be with me no matter my sins as will God…I just have to ask for forgiveness and make sure to learn from my past mistakes and continue to grow as a person. My partner was telling me that there is a kabalistic thought that during Yom Kippur that it is the time when the spirit world and the living world are supposedly the closest and after my experience I would have to agree.
After services we went and broke the fast at a friends house and had some great and varied conversations and good food! I met some new people some of whom I may not encounter again but you never know but I hope I put my true self out there for them. I think that they got a peak at the true me and the ones I really got to talk with I feel like I got a true peak into them. My circle of jewish friends and acquaintances continues to grow and I have to say I am enjoying it and am really starting to feel part of a community and it is an amazing feeling.
The Book of Life is sealed for another year and I hope I made some progress and I hope that not only was the fast easy but more importantly I hope that the fast was meaningful for you. Shanah Tovah and a blessed and happy 5772 to you my friends!
I have to admit I was not sure what to expect so I don’t have any comparisons but the only way I can describe it is that is has been very intense. I worked until it officially started so I started my fast a little late but that part of it has not been to bad really but it really keeps you thinking and one of the things it has very much made me aware of is hunger and the homeless. There are so many families out there that are in need of food so my partner and I try to pick up some extra non perishable food when we go to the store to put in the barrels at synagogue but we could do more. I walk past homeless people in the plaza all the time and I don’t give them any money because I usually don’t carry cash but I could help them in some way and I need to figure out how that way is because unfortunately I cant give every homeless person I encounter money. These are two easy things I could do to help another human being out…these are things I SHOULD do to help other human beings out. Not only is it a mitzvah it is just the right thing to do to keep the scales tilting in the direction of good.
I was able to go to the Kol Nidre service and was amazed and in awe. The prayer book is different then the one I am used to so I got lost and there is no transliteration so that made it hard as well, since by the time I was able to read one Hebrew word they were two pages ahead. I discussed the fact I kept getting lost with my partner and he pointed out that perhaps it was a good thing because I was not just reading words I didn't know the meaning to I was reading the English and meditating on what I was reading. I participated in the English portions, listened to the choir sing and would read ahead. There was one point in the evening that I thought I would have to leave I was fighting back tears as I was reading and the haunting melody of the choir was singing. I was able to do a lot of thinking and reading and was left a little uplifted but more so felt emotionally vulnerable from the stand point that I felt like I opened myself up to God and truly asked for forgiveness for all of my sins. I know what some of my sins were of course because I committed them but still being on the start of my journey I am not sure what all of my sins were so a lot of my prayers and thoughts were centered on in this coming year and in all of the coming years how/what can I do to make me a better person in human kinds eyes but more importantly in Gods eyes. I took this my first Yom Kippur as asking for forgiveness for forty-four years of not living up to Gods expectations and now as I learn what God asks of me to honor those requests to the best of my ability and move toward becoming what God had in mind for me when I was born.
The sermon of the evening was talking about being the real you and letting people know the real you. I never thought much about that because people know the real me and as the Rabbi continued I began to realize that there are levels of me that people know. My good friends truly know me and everything that goes on in my life the good, the bad, and the ugly. My facebook friends now when I get coffee, a new job, or that I don’t want to get out of bed. My work friends know a little less about me but now the challenge is to let them all know me so that I am being true to myself. There is a bit of a balance to this because even though they are friends some fall into the category of you are friends at work but probably would not do social things with but on some levels they deserve to know the real me as well and I owe it to myself to always let them know the real me warts and all so to speak. Life is messy and we are all in it together so perhaps we can help each other clean it up.
The morning service was equally as thought provoking but the one aspect I found so very interesting was the talk by the Rabbi. She was talking about “What Does God Ask of Me?” and it was an exercise that we were to partner up with and do for a few minutes. Those always scare me because I always feel like I don’t have the knowledge or the background to do. Thru this process I have often thought it would have just been so much easier if I was born jewish and trust me it would have been but this journey that I am lucky enough to be able to take is going to help make me the person and the jew that I want to become. I don’t have the years of Hebrew, of the school, of going to synagogue but I do have a choice and by making this choice I am going to learn all I can.
The congregation was divided up and each section had text from the bible to read and discuss. There are three categories Faith (belief in God), Deeds (observing mitzvot), Character (refining one’s character). Our section was about keeping Shabbat from Isaiah 58:13-14. There were then five discussion questions.
1. Is this text about Faith, Deeds, or Character? To me it is all about Faith and Character and it was cut and dry until I learned that mitzvot is also a commandment and then the answer was clearly all three. Faith and Deeds are not pretty self explanatory but Character is where you have to be a better person to make sure you follow this commandment and keep the Shabbat holy.
2. What is the challenge proposed in the text? That is also pretty self explanatory, you keep Shabbat holy but the real challenge in this day is trying to shut off the outside world. I honestly do not need to be on my phone texting or on facebook or watching tv when I could be reading or even better yet spending Shabbat with friends and family. This is going to be one of my challenges for this new year to not fall into the rut but to keep Shabbat special and unlike the other 6 days.
3. What is the reward for meeting the challenge? To me there are really two rewards for this challenge short term and long term. The short term reward is having that special day every week where you turn everything off and spend either a quiet Shabbat or spend it with friends and family lighting candles and having Shabbat dinner together and talking and getting to know the real people. The long term reward is an eternal life of basking in the glow of God and being closer to God.
4. Is this a reward that has value in your life today? Absolutely, as my journey continues I want to make sure to keep Shabbat holy by going to services, lighting candles, having dinner with friends and family. It goes back to the answers above and by doing that I will know the true friend or family member and they will know the true me.
5. In what ways does being a citizen that shows up on Friday nights at Beth Torah enable you to do what God asks for in this text? I love Friday night services! I can not think of a better way to end the work week and the week by going to be with my new friends and family, singing and praying and just letting the week go in preparation for a special day like no other day of the week. I do tend to be shy so I need to step out of my shell and put forth more effort on my part to let my new friends and family at Beth Torah get to know the real me and that is going to be part of my challenge for this new year so that they really know me when I finally become a member of the family!
Ne’ilah service was again a mix of emotion running from highs to lows. We were still asking for forgiveness as the gates were closing but it felt like it was in a more optimistic way. We still acknowledged all of our failures and there was still time to do some soul searching but if you had not done much of it before hand your time was limited. There was one point I really thought I was going to have to leave because I was having a very hard time holding back the tears because during one song I just had this overwhelming feeling of my mother! It was happy and it was sad because I miss her so much but I know she would have very much enjoyed all the services and it made me very aware that she is and always will be with me no matter my sins as will God…I just have to ask for forgiveness and make sure to learn from my past mistakes and continue to grow as a person. My partner was telling me that there is a kabalistic thought that during Yom Kippur that it is the time when the spirit world and the living world are supposedly the closest and after my experience I would have to agree.
After services we went and broke the fast at a friends house and had some great and varied conversations and good food! I met some new people some of whom I may not encounter again but you never know but I hope I put my true self out there for them. I think that they got a peak at the true me and the ones I really got to talk with I feel like I got a true peak into them. My circle of jewish friends and acquaintances continues to grow and I have to say I am enjoying it and am really starting to feel part of a community and it is an amazing feeling.
The Book of Life is sealed for another year and I hope I made some progress and I hope that not only was the fast easy but more importantly I hope that the fast was meaningful for you. Shanah Tovah and a blessed and happy 5772 to you my friends!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Rosh Hashanah
Well the first of the high holy days is over and it was a very enjoyable one, Rosh Hashanah also known as the jewish new year. Welcome to the year 5772! The holiday didnt quite go as I had hoped but it was still enjoyable. We, my partner and I, went to a friends house for dinner on the first evening. I was hoping to go to services but we brought in the new year with old friends and some new ones so I think that was very nice. The next afternoon went to a late lunch at another friends house and then to Tashlech, which is the service where you throw bread into a running body of water to represent casting away all of your sins from the past year. I didnt know what to expect so it was different but I very much enjoyed the symbolism of it and really tried to search inside for sins to think about while I was throwing my pieces of bread in. Then to end the new year and bring in shabbat we went over to a friends house for shabbat dinner and just hung out and socialized with friends and framily. It was a great way to spend the holiday but on the flip side part of me would have liked to go to services a little more to learn and understand them and the holidays.
I worked thru the holiday because I did not feel right asking for it off since it was my last couple of days at my job. I will be off for Yom Kippur which is fast approaching. It will be a quiet day of self reflection and services. It will not be an easy day by any means with a twenty-five hour fast and a lot of soul searching will make it emotionally draining I am sure.
I want to wish you all Shanah Tovah and I hope that you have a sweet, prosperous and a very happy new year!
I worked thru the holiday because I did not feel right asking for it off since it was my last couple of days at my job. I will be off for Yom Kippur which is fast approaching. It will be a quiet day of self reflection and services. It will not be an easy day by any means with a twenty-five hour fast and a lot of soul searching will make it emotionally draining I am sure.
I want to wish you all Shanah Tovah and I hope that you have a sweet, prosperous and a very happy new year!
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