Well I recently realized that I really have been on my journey a year now. I started to go to synagogue because I wanted to a year ago....went to the Shabbat Chanukah service in 2010 and here it is Chanukah 2011. I knew that this journey would happen but after my trip to Israel this summer I knew my journey had to happen and needed to happen.
The one thing I realized with today being christmas is that old habits die hard! It was weird to not have a tree this year and not to do way to much shopping for friends and family and the hardest of all not to have this elaborate meal that you would spend a whole day cooking to the point you were too tired to sit down and enjoy it! It is how I have always done it and I thought this morning that I need to cook and then realized no I don't. So here I am watching movies and doing laundry like it is just a normal day and it is for me now. I have really enjoyed Chanukah this year it has more meaning since I have learned the reasons behind it.
So in the Jewish traditions on christmas eve I went to see a movie but did not go have chinese food! Off to a friends house to hang out and then home for another movie! Shavua Tov to all
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Chanukah
I have been really getting into Chanukah music the past couple of weeks since we were given a disc in conversion class as a gift. Like Christmas music some of it is really just fun to listen to and sing along with but there are some songs that just really hit home and one such song is "Light One Candle". I could just listen to it over and over again and much to my partners dismay I do!
Light one candle for the Maccabee children
With thanks their light didn't die;
Light one candle for the pain they endured
When their right to exist was denied;
Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice
Justice and freedom demand;
And light one candle for the wisdom to know
That the peacemaker's time is at hand!
Chorus:
Don't let the light go out,
It's lasted for so many years!
Don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears!
Light one candle for the strength that we need
To never become our own foe;
Light one candle for those who are suff'ring
A pain they learned so long ago;
Light one candle for all we believe in,
That anger not tear us apart;
And light one candle to bind us together
With peace as the song in our heart!
(chorus)
What is the memory that's valued so highly
That we keep it alive in that flame?
What's the commitment to those who have died?
We cry out "they've not died in vain,"
We have come this far, always believing
That justice will somehow prevail;
This is the burden, This is the promise,
This is why we will not fail!
(chorus)
Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/peter+paul+mary
Here are the lyrics and I hope I don't get into trouble for it! But as with all things Jewish that I have learned so far there are so many wonderful lessons to be learned by the lyrics. On the surface you can just enjoy the song and I must admit a couple of years ago I was not a fan but after starting this process and REALLY listening to them it has become one of my favorite Chanukah songs. It tells of the story of how the Jews fought the Syrian Greeks. It talks about the the suffering and the sacrifices that the Jews had to make to stand up for what was right and good. Against all odds the Maccabees drove the Syrian Greeks out of Israel and after rededicating the temple had a celebration of their victory and winning their right to carry on.
The song is here to celebrate that victory and remind us of that fight but I also think that there is something to be said in this song for our future and the future of humanity. We as a people and as a person have good things happen and bad things happen and we need to remember that through all of that to stand up for what is right and to fight any injustice we see. It is not just something to do around Chanukah but something we need to do every day of our lives.
Fight for our rights, fight for our peoples rights, fight for others who are suffering as we did during the war with the Syrian Greeks and to do it while remembering the past but also know we are changing the future for the better.
From a spectator to now a person living it Chanukah is a very important holiday for many reasons and it is not the "Jewish Christmas"....it is so much more than that. It is a celebration, it is time for family and friends, it is a time for latkes and dreidles, it is a time to remember and to forge ahead and through joy and tears to make sure to fight the good battle for what is right and just and help the underdog! I believe we owe this to the Maccabees because that is what they did for us.
I truly hope that even one person who reads this will take the spirit of Chanukah with them! A very wise woman told me being Jewish is always about remembering the past but to not forget about the here and now and the future and as I continue on this journey I am really starting to see how that really does play out in Judaism. Happy Chanukah to everyone and remember "don't let the light go out, its lasted for so many years. Don't let the light go out, let it shine through our love and our tears."
Light one candle for the Maccabee children
With thanks their light didn't die;
Light one candle for the pain they endured
When their right to exist was denied;
Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice
Justice and freedom demand;
And light one candle for the wisdom to know
That the peacemaker's time is at hand!
Chorus:
Don't let the light go out,
It's lasted for so many years!
Don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears!
Light one candle for the strength that we need
To never become our own foe;
Light one candle for those who are suff'ring
A pain they learned so long ago;
Light one candle for all we believe in,
That anger not tear us apart;
And light one candle to bind us together
With peace as the song in our heart!
(chorus)
What is the memory that's valued so highly
That we keep it alive in that flame?
What's the commitment to those who have died?
We cry out "they've not died in vain,"
We have come this far, always believing
That justice will somehow prevail;
This is the burden, This is the promise,
This is why we will not fail!
(chorus)
Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/peter+paul+mary
Here are the lyrics and I hope I don't get into trouble for it! But as with all things Jewish that I have learned so far there are so many wonderful lessons to be learned by the lyrics. On the surface you can just enjoy the song and I must admit a couple of years ago I was not a fan but after starting this process and REALLY listening to them it has become one of my favorite Chanukah songs. It tells of the story of how the Jews fought the Syrian Greeks. It talks about the the suffering and the sacrifices that the Jews had to make to stand up for what was right and good. Against all odds the Maccabees drove the Syrian Greeks out of Israel and after rededicating the temple had a celebration of their victory and winning their right to carry on.
The song is here to celebrate that victory and remind us of that fight but I also think that there is something to be said in this song for our future and the future of humanity. We as a people and as a person have good things happen and bad things happen and we need to remember that through all of that to stand up for what is right and to fight any injustice we see. It is not just something to do around Chanukah but something we need to do every day of our lives.
Fight for our rights, fight for our peoples rights, fight for others who are suffering as we did during the war with the Syrian Greeks and to do it while remembering the past but also know we are changing the future for the better.
From a spectator to now a person living it Chanukah is a very important holiday for many reasons and it is not the "Jewish Christmas"....it is so much more than that. It is a celebration, it is time for family and friends, it is a time for latkes and dreidles, it is a time to remember and to forge ahead and through joy and tears to make sure to fight the good battle for what is right and just and help the underdog! I believe we owe this to the Maccabees because that is what they did for us.
I truly hope that even one person who reads this will take the spirit of Chanukah with them! A very wise woman told me being Jewish is always about remembering the past but to not forget about the here and now and the future and as I continue on this journey I am really starting to see how that really does play out in Judaism. Happy Chanukah to everyone and remember "don't let the light go out, its lasted for so many years. Don't let the light go out, let it shine through our love and our tears."
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Jewish 101?
Well I am now about 3 months into my conversion class and from many aspects it has gotten very frustrating. I got so flustered and frustrated with trying to learn hebrew I was ready to give up but I am happy to report that I am feeling much more confident with my abilities and I even joined another class to help me out and just to reinforce it.
Let me start off with I mean no disrespect to anyone and am very appreciative for the opportunity to learn and go on this journey with others. My frustration really comes into play with the fact there is so much information given to us and so much to learn that you don't even know where or what to ask questions about. The class has been on such an academic level that there has not been any practicality to it. I know and totally agree that I need to know the history and the reasons behind something but at the same time I also need to know why I am supposed to bend at the knee and then bow when we pray, "Baruch attah Adoni". Is it bad if I dont bend because it happened before I realized that was where and what I was supposed to do? If it is bad will I be forgiven because I didn't know? It is now almost Chanukah and we learned in the most brief way the story of the holiday but we didn't learn the prayer that we are supposed to say when we light the candles every night. I only found that out when I went to the class I just joined in last night and got a hand out with the prayers on it and some other tid bits of useful and fun information. We have discussed so many things and I have learned so much but I still feel lost on so many levels.
I am very comfortable going to services and look forward to going every week. I understand how the prayer book is laid out and how all of that works because the synagogue I attend has learner services periodically. So much was explained either before or after a prayer with the reasons for doing it. I feel so much of the class I am in is missing this part of it and I have no idea where to get this from. In all fairness, I have not had this discussion with my Rabbinic sponsor because I was just really able to verbalize what I was feeling tonight after class but in my next meeting we will touch on this. I have resources so now I just need to make an effort to write down questions as I think of them so that with all of my resources I can get an answer.
My question for you is....Where can I buy a copy of Jewish 101?
Let me start off with I mean no disrespect to anyone and am very appreciative for the opportunity to learn and go on this journey with others. My frustration really comes into play with the fact there is so much information given to us and so much to learn that you don't even know where or what to ask questions about. The class has been on such an academic level that there has not been any practicality to it. I know and totally agree that I need to know the history and the reasons behind something but at the same time I also need to know why I am supposed to bend at the knee and then bow when we pray, "Baruch attah Adoni". Is it bad if I dont bend because it happened before I realized that was where and what I was supposed to do? If it is bad will I be forgiven because I didn't know? It is now almost Chanukah and we learned in the most brief way the story of the holiday but we didn't learn the prayer that we are supposed to say when we light the candles every night. I only found that out when I went to the class I just joined in last night and got a hand out with the prayers on it and some other tid bits of useful and fun information. We have discussed so many things and I have learned so much but I still feel lost on so many levels.
I am very comfortable going to services and look forward to going every week. I understand how the prayer book is laid out and how all of that works because the synagogue I attend has learner services periodically. So much was explained either before or after a prayer with the reasons for doing it. I feel so much of the class I am in is missing this part of it and I have no idea where to get this from. In all fairness, I have not had this discussion with my Rabbinic sponsor because I was just really able to verbalize what I was feeling tonight after class but in my next meeting we will touch on this. I have resources so now I just need to make an effort to write down questions as I think of them so that with all of my resources I can get an answer.
My question for you is....Where can I buy a copy of Jewish 101?
Sunday, December 11, 2011
December Dilemma pt. II
I thought that this topic was a very cut and dried one and no big deal for me. I was a christian without any ties to a particular religion but believed in God and now I am converting to Judaism and have to deal with the whole christmas issue. I will miss the trees because I enjoyed their beauty, they never really had a significant religious value to them for me so no biggie and I thought that was the end of it.
Our topic for this past conversion class was the December Dilema/Chanukah rolled into one. We learned the story of Chanukah. The Jews thought the king of Syria had died and then celebrated their freedom and much to their surprise he was alive and not pleased with their behavior so he desecrated the temple to show them who was the boss so to speak. After a three year war the Jews were victorious over the Syrians and then the rededication of the temple Chanukah was declared a holiday. You light candles to remind people on the outside of the miracle that happened.
Then we talked about interfaith families and how they might deal with Christmas/Chanukah. That is where I could really see how it would become a dilemma. For me it is not a problem but some in our class have children and the family is not converting just one person. A friend was saying that they had the menorah in the kitchen would light the candles and say the blessings and then when the candles burned out would go in the living room and open presents with the christian members of the family. That would be such a difficult slope to navigate to keep them both seperate and not muddy them into one catch all holiday.
We also talked about when people wish you a Merry Christmas. As a christian I always wished people in passing a happy holidays because you don't know by looking what faith if any they have. If I know you are christian I will wish you a Merry Christmas but otherwise I think I am going to stick with happy holidays but graciously accept Christmas wishes from strangers that don't know I am not a christian.
Our topic for this past conversion class was the December Dilema/Chanukah rolled into one. We learned the story of Chanukah. The Jews thought the king of Syria had died and then celebrated their freedom and much to their surprise he was alive and not pleased with their behavior so he desecrated the temple to show them who was the boss so to speak. After a three year war the Jews were victorious over the Syrians and then the rededication of the temple Chanukah was declared a holiday. You light candles to remind people on the outside of the miracle that happened.
Then we talked about interfaith families and how they might deal with Christmas/Chanukah. That is where I could really see how it would become a dilemma. For me it is not a problem but some in our class have children and the family is not converting just one person. A friend was saying that they had the menorah in the kitchen would light the candles and say the blessings and then when the candles burned out would go in the living room and open presents with the christian members of the family. That would be such a difficult slope to navigate to keep them both seperate and not muddy them into one catch all holiday.
We also talked about when people wish you a Merry Christmas. As a christian I always wished people in passing a happy holidays because you don't know by looking what faith if any they have. If I know you are christian I will wish you a Merry Christmas but otherwise I think I am going to stick with happy holidays but graciously accept Christmas wishes from strangers that don't know I am not a christian.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
My December Dilema
Well I have made it thus far in my conversion class and now welcome to December and Christmas.
Having been raised christian I really thought that I would have a hard time dealing with the loss of the holidays but after really thinking about it and looking back for me the holidays were never religious. I went to church with my grandmother because she wanted me to join her and it made her happy but I never really bought into the whole premiss behind Christmas. I am not trying to down play anyone's beliefs here but for me it just did not work. I went through the motions but it was about the decorations, the family memories, and the presents.
Over my many years I have amassed quite the collection of Christmas decorations that I love and look forward to seeing every year. I would put up seven trees and each one had a different theme and I would buy a few new ornaments for each one every year building the memories and creating new ones. I have a great snowman and santa collection and I know have to say good bye to all of them. I was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with all of my memories and then a friend needed some stuff so I decided I am going to give it to my friends if they want it then I will sell it. This way I know my stuff, at least to my friends, will go to good homes and will start building new memories in new families and I will get to know that I helped in that.
I will have to go through all of my stuff because there are a few ornaments that I will keep and they will go every where with me. They are gifts from friends that have passed away, gifts or ornaments I bought for my grandmother, and a few that my mom bought for me. I will never be able to part with those and so they will get sorted out of the rest, carefully wrapped and packed away. I am sure I will take them out and look at them but I will know that they are with me even though the person that gave them to me is no longer here.
The hardest part for me is just seeing the house so bare at this time of year! Its not depressing or sad but I really do miss the trees and all of my other things but it is a cleansing step on my journey and I am really getting excited about lighting chanukah candles this year. I dont get my own menorah yet since i am not officially jewish so that will be an early Chanukah gift for next year I am sure.
So I want to finish this off with wishing you a merry Christmas if you are christian or a very happy Chanukah to all of my Jewish readers and I hope it is a season filled with love, joy, and lots of family and memories. Now I think I am going to go read about Chanukah and the story behind it.
Having been raised christian I really thought that I would have a hard time dealing with the loss of the holidays but after really thinking about it and looking back for me the holidays were never religious. I went to church with my grandmother because she wanted me to join her and it made her happy but I never really bought into the whole premiss behind Christmas. I am not trying to down play anyone's beliefs here but for me it just did not work. I went through the motions but it was about the decorations, the family memories, and the presents.
Over my many years I have amassed quite the collection of Christmas decorations that I love and look forward to seeing every year. I would put up seven trees and each one had a different theme and I would buy a few new ornaments for each one every year building the memories and creating new ones. I have a great snowman and santa collection and I know have to say good bye to all of them. I was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with all of my memories and then a friend needed some stuff so I decided I am going to give it to my friends if they want it then I will sell it. This way I know my stuff, at least to my friends, will go to good homes and will start building new memories in new families and I will get to know that I helped in that.
I will have to go through all of my stuff because there are a few ornaments that I will keep and they will go every where with me. They are gifts from friends that have passed away, gifts or ornaments I bought for my grandmother, and a few that my mom bought for me. I will never be able to part with those and so they will get sorted out of the rest, carefully wrapped and packed away. I am sure I will take them out and look at them but I will know that they are with me even though the person that gave them to me is no longer here.
The hardest part for me is just seeing the house so bare at this time of year! Its not depressing or sad but I really do miss the trees and all of my other things but it is a cleansing step on my journey and I am really getting excited about lighting chanukah candles this year. I dont get my own menorah yet since i am not officially jewish so that will be an early Chanukah gift for next year I am sure.
So I want to finish this off with wishing you a merry Christmas if you are christian or a very happy Chanukah to all of my Jewish readers and I hope it is a season filled with love, joy, and lots of family and memories. Now I think I am going to go read about Chanukah and the story behind it.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Conversion Class
Tonight was another conversion class but unlike the others we had three guest Rabbi's talking to us and taking our questions. They were from the three major movements, reform, conservative, and orthodox. It was a very interesting evening and it help refocus and energize me a little. I wish i knew my classmates better because i was interesting in finding out how the movements view homosexuality, abortion and some other hot button issues but perhaps i will suggest some anonymous questions delivered before hand for the next class. I think it would have made for a lively discussion.
I had a rough patch where i was getting very frustrated with myself and my ability to read hebrew. It got to the point where i was questioning if the whole thing was worth it and even wrote my Rabbi sponsor and was ready to throw in the towel and here reply was (and i hope she doesnt get mad for me quoting her) was "absolutely not! if i can learn algebra you can learn to read hebrew!" and a slew of websites came at me to help me out. And they did help me out. I used a few of them stumbled on another one and between them all i held my own tonight reading so i know i can do this.
I have not made it to synagogue the past two shabbats and i have missed it. Tonight was a good experience and i am looking to worship with my community and hear what promises to be an amazing guest speaker. All in all my faith in myself was renewed this evening and my desire to follow through with my conversion is back on. Thank you to everyone for talking me off the ledge so to speak, i always feel the need to be perfect or get it the first time and i have to step back and realize i am human and it wont always be perfect. So on that note leila tov everyone!
I had a rough patch where i was getting very frustrated with myself and my ability to read hebrew. It got to the point where i was questioning if the whole thing was worth it and even wrote my Rabbi sponsor and was ready to throw in the towel and here reply was (and i hope she doesnt get mad for me quoting her) was "absolutely not! if i can learn algebra you can learn to read hebrew!" and a slew of websites came at me to help me out. And they did help me out. I used a few of them stumbled on another one and between them all i held my own tonight reading so i know i can do this.
I have not made it to synagogue the past two shabbats and i have missed it. Tonight was a good experience and i am looking to worship with my community and hear what promises to be an amazing guest speaker. All in all my faith in myself was renewed this evening and my desire to follow through with my conversion is back on. Thank you to everyone for talking me off the ledge so to speak, i always feel the need to be perfect or get it the first time and i have to step back and realize i am human and it wont always be perfect. So on that note leila tov everyone!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Sukkot
Well the holy days are now officially over. Sukkot ended and it was a bit confusing is not the right word. I was not sure what to expect. It is a pilgrimage holiday when the Jews were supposed to travel to the temple in Jerusalem. You also build sukkah which has three to four walls can be covered in anything and the roof needs to be cut vegetation and you must be able to see the stars thru it. I did not know what to make from this but after talking to my rabbi about it she explained that there is a desire in Judaism to recreate events to remember how it was and to also remind the Jews of today that we all have these trials today. We are all lost in the desert so to speak and by building the sukkah we can remind ourselves of that.
We did not build a sukkah this year in our yard because it just seemed unnecessary to me but after my conversation with my rabbi I know that next year I will have a sukkah in my backyard. You also are supposed to have the four species lulav (date palm leave), hadass (myrtle tree leaves), and aravah (branch and leaves of a willow tree). Those three are bound together and then you have your etrog (fruit of a citron tree) and you wave them to acknowledge that God is all around and also by doing this you are doing a mitzvah that is in the torah.
There are two different opinions as to why we are to have the four species. One has to do with taste and smell also known as good deeds and torah learning. The lulav has taste but no smell with taste being the study of torah and the lack of smell being lacking of good deeds. The hadass has good smell with no taste. The aravah has neither taste or smell and the citron has both taste and smell. You guessed it you want to be the citron, you want to learn torah and all of its teachings and do good deeds or mitvoat. The second explanation is the four species represent body parts. The lulav is your spine so you can stand tall in your worship of God. The hadrass is your eye so you can read and learn torah. The aravah is your mouth so you can teach torah and ask questions. The citron is your heart so that it is open to the torah, God and doing mitzvoat.
It is a seven day holiday if you live in Israel but eight days outside of Israel (diaspora). It is a holiday of symbolism and learning. I am not sure if it happens every year but this year we also finished the torah and started over. There was a service for this and it was unusual for me. There was lots of dancing and clapping and having grown up christian I was not used to this at all so was taken aback but it was fun to watch and now I am a little more prepared for it next year when I will be Jewish. The part that is the most exciting to me is just starting over from the beginning and being able to hear it all and now i can read it on my own if I am unable to make it to services and learn what it has to offer. I admit I did not pay attention in church to often except for the constant you are evil and you are going to hell if you dont repent now talk so it will be good to hear it and read it now that I want to not because I have to go to church.
Tomorrow is mitzvah day and I am looking forward to it. The day after Yom Kippur we got together as a group and synagogue and sorted food that was donated during the holy days food drive. We sorted for the kosher food pantry and for Harvesters here in Kansas City. It is amazing to be able to do something so easy and yet it will touch so many people that I will never meet but I know I did something to help. Tomorrow is mitzvah day and there are a bunch of different tasks going on at synagogue, making dry soup mixes, sorting more food, leaf raking. Lots of options to help people in the community and in the Jewish community! It is going to be great to be social and get to do a mitzvah.
Well hopefully you learned a little something about Sukkot because I know I have learned a lot about a holiday that didnt seem that important and know that next year with my better understanding it will be more meaningful! The next stop on the holiday calendar is Chanukah and that means candles and potato latkes and much more but I have not learned about that in class yet.
Thank you for joining me on another step on my journey to Jewish and I hope that you have learned something because I know I have but I still have so much to learn that it seems a daunting journey but I chose to start this and I am choosing to continue. Shavuah Tov
We did not build a sukkah this year in our yard because it just seemed unnecessary to me but after my conversation with my rabbi I know that next year I will have a sukkah in my backyard. You also are supposed to have the four species lulav (date palm leave), hadass (myrtle tree leaves), and aravah (branch and leaves of a willow tree). Those three are bound together and then you have your etrog (fruit of a citron tree) and you wave them to acknowledge that God is all around and also by doing this you are doing a mitzvah that is in the torah.
There are two different opinions as to why we are to have the four species. One has to do with taste and smell also known as good deeds and torah learning. The lulav has taste but no smell with taste being the study of torah and the lack of smell being lacking of good deeds. The hadass has good smell with no taste. The aravah has neither taste or smell and the citron has both taste and smell. You guessed it you want to be the citron, you want to learn torah and all of its teachings and do good deeds or mitvoat. The second explanation is the four species represent body parts. The lulav is your spine so you can stand tall in your worship of God. The hadrass is your eye so you can read and learn torah. The aravah is your mouth so you can teach torah and ask questions. The citron is your heart so that it is open to the torah, God and doing mitzvoat.
It is a seven day holiday if you live in Israel but eight days outside of Israel (diaspora). It is a holiday of symbolism and learning. I am not sure if it happens every year but this year we also finished the torah and started over. There was a service for this and it was unusual for me. There was lots of dancing and clapping and having grown up christian I was not used to this at all so was taken aback but it was fun to watch and now I am a little more prepared for it next year when I will be Jewish. The part that is the most exciting to me is just starting over from the beginning and being able to hear it all and now i can read it on my own if I am unable to make it to services and learn what it has to offer. I admit I did not pay attention in church to often except for the constant you are evil and you are going to hell if you dont repent now talk so it will be good to hear it and read it now that I want to not because I have to go to church.
Tomorrow is mitzvah day and I am looking forward to it. The day after Yom Kippur we got together as a group and synagogue and sorted food that was donated during the holy days food drive. We sorted for the kosher food pantry and for Harvesters here in Kansas City. It is amazing to be able to do something so easy and yet it will touch so many people that I will never meet but I know I did something to help. Tomorrow is mitzvah day and there are a bunch of different tasks going on at synagogue, making dry soup mixes, sorting more food, leaf raking. Lots of options to help people in the community and in the Jewish community! It is going to be great to be social and get to do a mitzvah.
Well hopefully you learned a little something about Sukkot because I know I have learned a lot about a holiday that didnt seem that important and know that next year with my better understanding it will be more meaningful! The next stop on the holiday calendar is Chanukah and that means candles and potato latkes and much more but I have not learned about that in class yet.
Thank you for joining me on another step on my journey to Jewish and I hope that you have learned something because I know I have but I still have so much to learn that it seems a daunting journey but I chose to start this and I am choosing to continue. Shavuah Tov
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Yom Kippur 5772
It is the day of Yom Kippur and I thought I would take some time and work on my blog a little and do some learning and some soul searching and fill you in on my Yom Kippur and what I took away from it.
I have to admit I was not sure what to expect so I don’t have any comparisons but the only way I can describe it is that is has been very intense. I worked until it officially started so I started my fast a little late but that part of it has not been to bad really but it really keeps you thinking and one of the things it has very much made me aware of is hunger and the homeless. There are so many families out there that are in need of food so my partner and I try to pick up some extra non perishable food when we go to the store to put in the barrels at synagogue but we could do more. I walk past homeless people in the plaza all the time and I don’t give them any money because I usually don’t carry cash but I could help them in some way and I need to figure out how that way is because unfortunately I cant give every homeless person I encounter money. These are two easy things I could do to help another human being out…these are things I SHOULD do to help other human beings out. Not only is it a mitzvah it is just the right thing to do to keep the scales tilting in the direction of good.
I was able to go to the Kol Nidre service and was amazed and in awe. The prayer book is different then the one I am used to so I got lost and there is no transliteration so that made it hard as well, since by the time I was able to read one Hebrew word they were two pages ahead. I discussed the fact I kept getting lost with my partner and he pointed out that perhaps it was a good thing because I was not just reading words I didn't know the meaning to I was reading the English and meditating on what I was reading. I participated in the English portions, listened to the choir sing and would read ahead. There was one point in the evening that I thought I would have to leave I was fighting back tears as I was reading and the haunting melody of the choir was singing. I was able to do a lot of thinking and reading and was left a little uplifted but more so felt emotionally vulnerable from the stand point that I felt like I opened myself up to God and truly asked for forgiveness for all of my sins. I know what some of my sins were of course because I committed them but still being on the start of my journey I am not sure what all of my sins were so a lot of my prayers and thoughts were centered on in this coming year and in all of the coming years how/what can I do to make me a better person in human kinds eyes but more importantly in Gods eyes. I took this my first Yom Kippur as asking for forgiveness for forty-four years of not living up to Gods expectations and now as I learn what God asks of me to honor those requests to the best of my ability and move toward becoming what God had in mind for me when I was born.
The sermon of the evening was talking about being the real you and letting people know the real you. I never thought much about that because people know the real me and as the Rabbi continued I began to realize that there are levels of me that people know. My good friends truly know me and everything that goes on in my life the good, the bad, and the ugly. My facebook friends now when I get coffee, a new job, or that I don’t want to get out of bed. My work friends know a little less about me but now the challenge is to let them all know me so that I am being true to myself. There is a bit of a balance to this because even though they are friends some fall into the category of you are friends at work but probably would not do social things with but on some levels they deserve to know the real me as well and I owe it to myself to always let them know the real me warts and all so to speak. Life is messy and we are all in it together so perhaps we can help each other clean it up.
The morning service was equally as thought provoking but the one aspect I found so very interesting was the talk by the Rabbi. She was talking about “What Does God Ask of Me?” and it was an exercise that we were to partner up with and do for a few minutes. Those always scare me because I always feel like I don’t have the knowledge or the background to do. Thru this process I have often thought it would have just been so much easier if I was born jewish and trust me it would have been but this journey that I am lucky enough to be able to take is going to help make me the person and the jew that I want to become. I don’t have the years of Hebrew, of the school, of going to synagogue but I do have a choice and by making this choice I am going to learn all I can.
The congregation was divided up and each section had text from the bible to read and discuss. There are three categories Faith (belief in God), Deeds (observing mitzvot), Character (refining one’s character). Our section was about keeping Shabbat from Isaiah 58:13-14. There were then five discussion questions.
1. Is this text about Faith, Deeds, or Character? To me it is all about Faith and Character and it was cut and dry until I learned that mitzvot is also a commandment and then the answer was clearly all three. Faith and Deeds are not pretty self explanatory but Character is where you have to be a better person to make sure you follow this commandment and keep the Shabbat holy.
2. What is the challenge proposed in the text? That is also pretty self explanatory, you keep Shabbat holy but the real challenge in this day is trying to shut off the outside world. I honestly do not need to be on my phone texting or on facebook or watching tv when I could be reading or even better yet spending Shabbat with friends and family. This is going to be one of my challenges for this new year to not fall into the rut but to keep Shabbat special and unlike the other 6 days.
3. What is the reward for meeting the challenge? To me there are really two rewards for this challenge short term and long term. The short term reward is having that special day every week where you turn everything off and spend either a quiet Shabbat or spend it with friends and family lighting candles and having Shabbat dinner together and talking and getting to know the real people. The long term reward is an eternal life of basking in the glow of God and being closer to God.
4. Is this a reward that has value in your life today? Absolutely, as my journey continues I want to make sure to keep Shabbat holy by going to services, lighting candles, having dinner with friends and family. It goes back to the answers above and by doing that I will know the true friend or family member and they will know the true me.
5. In what ways does being a citizen that shows up on Friday nights at Beth Torah enable you to do what God asks for in this text? I love Friday night services! I can not think of a better way to end the work week and the week by going to be with my new friends and family, singing and praying and just letting the week go in preparation for a special day like no other day of the week. I do tend to be shy so I need to step out of my shell and put forth more effort on my part to let my new friends and family at Beth Torah get to know the real me and that is going to be part of my challenge for this new year so that they really know me when I finally become a member of the family!
Ne’ilah service was again a mix of emotion running from highs to lows. We were still asking for forgiveness as the gates were closing but it felt like it was in a more optimistic way. We still acknowledged all of our failures and there was still time to do some soul searching but if you had not done much of it before hand your time was limited. There was one point I really thought I was going to have to leave because I was having a very hard time holding back the tears because during one song I just had this overwhelming feeling of my mother! It was happy and it was sad because I miss her so much but I know she would have very much enjoyed all the services and it made me very aware that she is and always will be with me no matter my sins as will God…I just have to ask for forgiveness and make sure to learn from my past mistakes and continue to grow as a person. My partner was telling me that there is a kabalistic thought that during Yom Kippur that it is the time when the spirit world and the living world are supposedly the closest and after my experience I would have to agree.
After services we went and broke the fast at a friends house and had some great and varied conversations and good food! I met some new people some of whom I may not encounter again but you never know but I hope I put my true self out there for them. I think that they got a peak at the true me and the ones I really got to talk with I feel like I got a true peak into them. My circle of jewish friends and acquaintances continues to grow and I have to say I am enjoying it and am really starting to feel part of a community and it is an amazing feeling.
The Book of Life is sealed for another year and I hope I made some progress and I hope that not only was the fast easy but more importantly I hope that the fast was meaningful for you. Shanah Tovah and a blessed and happy 5772 to you my friends!
I have to admit I was not sure what to expect so I don’t have any comparisons but the only way I can describe it is that is has been very intense. I worked until it officially started so I started my fast a little late but that part of it has not been to bad really but it really keeps you thinking and one of the things it has very much made me aware of is hunger and the homeless. There are so many families out there that are in need of food so my partner and I try to pick up some extra non perishable food when we go to the store to put in the barrels at synagogue but we could do more. I walk past homeless people in the plaza all the time and I don’t give them any money because I usually don’t carry cash but I could help them in some way and I need to figure out how that way is because unfortunately I cant give every homeless person I encounter money. These are two easy things I could do to help another human being out…these are things I SHOULD do to help other human beings out. Not only is it a mitzvah it is just the right thing to do to keep the scales tilting in the direction of good.
I was able to go to the Kol Nidre service and was amazed and in awe. The prayer book is different then the one I am used to so I got lost and there is no transliteration so that made it hard as well, since by the time I was able to read one Hebrew word they were two pages ahead. I discussed the fact I kept getting lost with my partner and he pointed out that perhaps it was a good thing because I was not just reading words I didn't know the meaning to I was reading the English and meditating on what I was reading. I participated in the English portions, listened to the choir sing and would read ahead. There was one point in the evening that I thought I would have to leave I was fighting back tears as I was reading and the haunting melody of the choir was singing. I was able to do a lot of thinking and reading and was left a little uplifted but more so felt emotionally vulnerable from the stand point that I felt like I opened myself up to God and truly asked for forgiveness for all of my sins. I know what some of my sins were of course because I committed them but still being on the start of my journey I am not sure what all of my sins were so a lot of my prayers and thoughts were centered on in this coming year and in all of the coming years how/what can I do to make me a better person in human kinds eyes but more importantly in Gods eyes. I took this my first Yom Kippur as asking for forgiveness for forty-four years of not living up to Gods expectations and now as I learn what God asks of me to honor those requests to the best of my ability and move toward becoming what God had in mind for me when I was born.
The sermon of the evening was talking about being the real you and letting people know the real you. I never thought much about that because people know the real me and as the Rabbi continued I began to realize that there are levels of me that people know. My good friends truly know me and everything that goes on in my life the good, the bad, and the ugly. My facebook friends now when I get coffee, a new job, or that I don’t want to get out of bed. My work friends know a little less about me but now the challenge is to let them all know me so that I am being true to myself. There is a bit of a balance to this because even though they are friends some fall into the category of you are friends at work but probably would not do social things with but on some levels they deserve to know the real me as well and I owe it to myself to always let them know the real me warts and all so to speak. Life is messy and we are all in it together so perhaps we can help each other clean it up.
The morning service was equally as thought provoking but the one aspect I found so very interesting was the talk by the Rabbi. She was talking about “What Does God Ask of Me?” and it was an exercise that we were to partner up with and do for a few minutes. Those always scare me because I always feel like I don’t have the knowledge or the background to do. Thru this process I have often thought it would have just been so much easier if I was born jewish and trust me it would have been but this journey that I am lucky enough to be able to take is going to help make me the person and the jew that I want to become. I don’t have the years of Hebrew, of the school, of going to synagogue but I do have a choice and by making this choice I am going to learn all I can.
The congregation was divided up and each section had text from the bible to read and discuss. There are three categories Faith (belief in God), Deeds (observing mitzvot), Character (refining one’s character). Our section was about keeping Shabbat from Isaiah 58:13-14. There were then five discussion questions.
1. Is this text about Faith, Deeds, or Character? To me it is all about Faith and Character and it was cut and dry until I learned that mitzvot is also a commandment and then the answer was clearly all three. Faith and Deeds are not pretty self explanatory but Character is where you have to be a better person to make sure you follow this commandment and keep the Shabbat holy.
2. What is the challenge proposed in the text? That is also pretty self explanatory, you keep Shabbat holy but the real challenge in this day is trying to shut off the outside world. I honestly do not need to be on my phone texting or on facebook or watching tv when I could be reading or even better yet spending Shabbat with friends and family. This is going to be one of my challenges for this new year to not fall into the rut but to keep Shabbat special and unlike the other 6 days.
3. What is the reward for meeting the challenge? To me there are really two rewards for this challenge short term and long term. The short term reward is having that special day every week where you turn everything off and spend either a quiet Shabbat or spend it with friends and family lighting candles and having Shabbat dinner together and talking and getting to know the real people. The long term reward is an eternal life of basking in the glow of God and being closer to God.
4. Is this a reward that has value in your life today? Absolutely, as my journey continues I want to make sure to keep Shabbat holy by going to services, lighting candles, having dinner with friends and family. It goes back to the answers above and by doing that I will know the true friend or family member and they will know the true me.
5. In what ways does being a citizen that shows up on Friday nights at Beth Torah enable you to do what God asks for in this text? I love Friday night services! I can not think of a better way to end the work week and the week by going to be with my new friends and family, singing and praying and just letting the week go in preparation for a special day like no other day of the week. I do tend to be shy so I need to step out of my shell and put forth more effort on my part to let my new friends and family at Beth Torah get to know the real me and that is going to be part of my challenge for this new year so that they really know me when I finally become a member of the family!
Ne’ilah service was again a mix of emotion running from highs to lows. We were still asking for forgiveness as the gates were closing but it felt like it was in a more optimistic way. We still acknowledged all of our failures and there was still time to do some soul searching but if you had not done much of it before hand your time was limited. There was one point I really thought I was going to have to leave because I was having a very hard time holding back the tears because during one song I just had this overwhelming feeling of my mother! It was happy and it was sad because I miss her so much but I know she would have very much enjoyed all the services and it made me very aware that she is and always will be with me no matter my sins as will God…I just have to ask for forgiveness and make sure to learn from my past mistakes and continue to grow as a person. My partner was telling me that there is a kabalistic thought that during Yom Kippur that it is the time when the spirit world and the living world are supposedly the closest and after my experience I would have to agree.
After services we went and broke the fast at a friends house and had some great and varied conversations and good food! I met some new people some of whom I may not encounter again but you never know but I hope I put my true self out there for them. I think that they got a peak at the true me and the ones I really got to talk with I feel like I got a true peak into them. My circle of jewish friends and acquaintances continues to grow and I have to say I am enjoying it and am really starting to feel part of a community and it is an amazing feeling.
The Book of Life is sealed for another year and I hope I made some progress and I hope that not only was the fast easy but more importantly I hope that the fast was meaningful for you. Shanah Tovah and a blessed and happy 5772 to you my friends!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Rosh Hashanah
Well the first of the high holy days is over and it was a very enjoyable one, Rosh Hashanah also known as the jewish new year. Welcome to the year 5772! The holiday didnt quite go as I had hoped but it was still enjoyable. We, my partner and I, went to a friends house for dinner on the first evening. I was hoping to go to services but we brought in the new year with old friends and some new ones so I think that was very nice. The next afternoon went to a late lunch at another friends house and then to Tashlech, which is the service where you throw bread into a running body of water to represent casting away all of your sins from the past year. I didnt know what to expect so it was different but I very much enjoyed the symbolism of it and really tried to search inside for sins to think about while I was throwing my pieces of bread in. Then to end the new year and bring in shabbat we went over to a friends house for shabbat dinner and just hung out and socialized with friends and framily. It was a great way to spend the holiday but on the flip side part of me would have liked to go to services a little more to learn and understand them and the holidays.
I worked thru the holiday because I did not feel right asking for it off since it was my last couple of days at my job. I will be off for Yom Kippur which is fast approaching. It will be a quiet day of self reflection and services. It will not be an easy day by any means with a twenty-five hour fast and a lot of soul searching will make it emotionally draining I am sure.
I want to wish you all Shanah Tovah and I hope that you have a sweet, prosperous and a very happy new year!
I worked thru the holiday because I did not feel right asking for it off since it was my last couple of days at my job. I will be off for Yom Kippur which is fast approaching. It will be a quiet day of self reflection and services. It will not be an easy day by any means with a twenty-five hour fast and a lot of soul searching will make it emotionally draining I am sure.
I want to wish you all Shanah Tovah and I hope that you have a sweet, prosperous and a very happy new year!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
The Five Questions
One piece of my journey on the way to becoming a Jew is to write a journal and discuss some specific questions to see how I am progressing and what I am learning. So for the month of November there are the five questions.
Question One: To the best of my knowledge, Judaism is many things. In the most simple of answers Judaism is a religion. To me it is so much more than an organized religion. Judaism is constant soul searching making sure you are doing the right thing in Gods eye. It is being a part of a community whether it is the synagogue you belong to or a group of friends or your family or a bigger community of Israel. I was not born jewish so I don’t have my family to fall back on but I have all of my friends that are and will be a great support and learning tool for me on my journey. As far as my community of synagogue I am not a member but I feel very at home and look forward to going to services and find the Friday night Shabbat service the perfect way to end the work week and prepare for Shabbat.
Question Two: To the best of my knowledge God is my judge and my role model. I will ultimately be judged by God on my actions in my life. Every year on Yom Kippur one hopes that they have lived a good life and done the right thing so they are inscribed into the book of life for another year. So each year we are judged by God on our actions. God would also be a role model from the stand point that God gave us the torah with the lessons on how to live our lives and although we can never be perfect we should strive to be like God in the choices that we make.
Question Three: At this time, I find the following the most attractive or most appealing about Judaism. One thing that I find appealing is the fact that when I go to Shabbat services I am taught the torah, the sermons are about how to live the torah. I am there to learn to be uplifted to be rejuvenated. Being raised a christian and going to church on Sunday was a chore. The sermon was not so much about teaching how to live a good life but lecturing on how bad we were. It was not a teaching experience it was someone on the pulpit lecturing you on how bad of a human being you are. The other thing I find incredibly appealing is the fact that Judaism is so forgiving and welcoming. You are held accountable for your actions but if you put the work into asking for forgiveness it will be granted to you by God and by the people you have wronged.
Question Four: At this time, the following most disappoints me or disturbs me about Judaism. At this point in my journey there is nothing tangible that I can say disturbs me but as my journey progresses I will update this question. The only thing for me and it is an intangible and I have no specific examples is the fact that for a religion to have such a community there seems to be a lot of separation.
Question Five: I am here because after wandering through life for 44 years I finally found what I was looking for and missing in my life. I found a community, a spiritual path, an environment to learn and continue to learn but most of all I found my anchor and strengthened my belief in God! I was not lucky enough to be born Jewish but I am lucky enough to be able to choose to be a Jew and know that it is what I want deep in my heart. I have to work at it, earn it and at the end of the day, or in this case the end of the conversion process, I know I will be a better person and have a stronger faith in God and in myself
Question One: To the best of my knowledge, Judaism is many things. In the most simple of answers Judaism is a religion. To me it is so much more than an organized religion. Judaism is constant soul searching making sure you are doing the right thing in Gods eye. It is being a part of a community whether it is the synagogue you belong to or a group of friends or your family or a bigger community of Israel. I was not born jewish so I don’t have my family to fall back on but I have all of my friends that are and will be a great support and learning tool for me on my journey. As far as my community of synagogue I am not a member but I feel very at home and look forward to going to services and find the Friday night Shabbat service the perfect way to end the work week and prepare for Shabbat.
Question Two: To the best of my knowledge God is my judge and my role model. I will ultimately be judged by God on my actions in my life. Every year on Yom Kippur one hopes that they have lived a good life and done the right thing so they are inscribed into the book of life for another year. So each year we are judged by God on our actions. God would also be a role model from the stand point that God gave us the torah with the lessons on how to live our lives and although we can never be perfect we should strive to be like God in the choices that we make.
Question Three: At this time, I find the following the most attractive or most appealing about Judaism. One thing that I find appealing is the fact that when I go to Shabbat services I am taught the torah, the sermons are about how to live the torah. I am there to learn to be uplifted to be rejuvenated. Being raised a christian and going to church on Sunday was a chore. The sermon was not so much about teaching how to live a good life but lecturing on how bad we were. It was not a teaching experience it was someone on the pulpit lecturing you on how bad of a human being you are. The other thing I find incredibly appealing is the fact that Judaism is so forgiving and welcoming. You are held accountable for your actions but if you put the work into asking for forgiveness it will be granted to you by God and by the people you have wronged.
Question Four: At this time, the following most disappoints me or disturbs me about Judaism. At this point in my journey there is nothing tangible that I can say disturbs me but as my journey progresses I will update this question. The only thing for me and it is an intangible and I have no specific examples is the fact that for a religion to have such a community there seems to be a lot of separation.
Question Five: I am here because after wandering through life for 44 years I finally found what I was looking for and missing in my life. I found a community, a spiritual path, an environment to learn and continue to learn but most of all I found my anchor and strengthened my belief in God! I was not lucky enough to be born Jewish but I am lucky enough to be able to choose to be a Jew and know that it is what I want deep in my heart. I have to work at it, earn it and at the end of the day, or in this case the end of the conversion process, I know I will be a better person and have a stronger faith in God and in myself
The High Holy Days
Well as my journey continues we are fast approaching the High Holy Days with Rosh Hashana being the first one. It is the Head of the New Year or the New Year for the Jewish calander. It is a celebration from the stand point that you get together with friends and family and you eat apples and honey to ensure that everyone has a sweet new year but it is also a point where you reflect on the previous year and on how you chose to live your life in that year. One has to correct the wrongs they have done that they have not corrected previously between now and Yom Kippur.
Last night 26 Elul, 5771 I was lucky enough to get to go to my first community selichot. It started with some sweets and socializing followed by a choice of a class that was taught by the area rabbi's and then the service. The class I took was about healing pain through writing, reading poems, journaling. I chose that class because it was taught by my rabbi sponsor and because it sounded the most interesting given my knowledge of the jewish religion. We did a spiritual assessment or Matzav Ruhi which I found very difficult so early in my journey but then we read two poems and discussed them. The first was "How it crowds out all the good things of life" by Merle Feld. It is about the sudden passing of her brother and her pain and all i could think about was my mom and how she suffered and how i still to this day suffer with not having her around to love, to talk to, to encourage, to be encouraged by. The poem really hit home for me and then after some discussion we had to journal about it and i wrote about the pain of losing my mom and i just wanted to leave the room for a bit and cry but finding the pain and confronting it is the way that it will become manageable. We also discussed how the jewish cycle gives you a year to grieve and how much of that year is just a shock and it is not till after that year you can really start to process and talk about it and by then no one is there for you. It was a really disheartening feeling that all these people are out there alone suffering most probably just needing someone to talk to and help them manage their pain. As we were told we should not try to take away their pain just help them manage it and that concept really hit home with me. The pain is part of who we become it is part of us and to take it away is to take away part of me and i want all those experiences to form the fabric of who i am today and who i will become tomorrow.
I can not begin to describe the emmotions i had in the service. You were so uplifted on moment and then you just wanted to cry. You experienced all of your emmotions through song and prayer. The communities torahs covers were changed to white and i thought nothing of it while we learned about it in class but it was amazing to watch. The torahs were all given a fresh start just as we are at this time of year and to be able to experience that with the community was such an honor and just another positive reason that i want that i need to go on this spiritual journey. This is going to be a tough journey with a lot of soul searching but so far it has been a wonderful thing for me. I know my mom would be very happy for me that i found a place that made me feel at home and i know she would be just as excited for my journey as i am and i know that even though i miss her the pain i feel every day is a reminder that i am alive and i need to be thankful for all that has been given to me and to continue to learn and to grow as a person.
So to you i would like to wish you a very happy and sweet new year, Shana Tov!
Last night 26 Elul, 5771 I was lucky enough to get to go to my first community selichot. It started with some sweets and socializing followed by a choice of a class that was taught by the area rabbi's and then the service. The class I took was about healing pain through writing, reading poems, journaling. I chose that class because it was taught by my rabbi sponsor and because it sounded the most interesting given my knowledge of the jewish religion. We did a spiritual assessment or Matzav Ruhi which I found very difficult so early in my journey but then we read two poems and discussed them. The first was "How it crowds out all the good things of life" by Merle Feld. It is about the sudden passing of her brother and her pain and all i could think about was my mom and how she suffered and how i still to this day suffer with not having her around to love, to talk to, to encourage, to be encouraged by. The poem really hit home for me and then after some discussion we had to journal about it and i wrote about the pain of losing my mom and i just wanted to leave the room for a bit and cry but finding the pain and confronting it is the way that it will become manageable. We also discussed how the jewish cycle gives you a year to grieve and how much of that year is just a shock and it is not till after that year you can really start to process and talk about it and by then no one is there for you. It was a really disheartening feeling that all these people are out there alone suffering most probably just needing someone to talk to and help them manage their pain. As we were told we should not try to take away their pain just help them manage it and that concept really hit home with me. The pain is part of who we become it is part of us and to take it away is to take away part of me and i want all those experiences to form the fabric of who i am today and who i will become tomorrow.
I can not begin to describe the emmotions i had in the service. You were so uplifted on moment and then you just wanted to cry. You experienced all of your emmotions through song and prayer. The communities torahs covers were changed to white and i thought nothing of it while we learned about it in class but it was amazing to watch. The torahs were all given a fresh start just as we are at this time of year and to be able to experience that with the community was such an honor and just another positive reason that i want that i need to go on this spiritual journey. This is going to be a tough journey with a lot of soul searching but so far it has been a wonderful thing for me. I know my mom would be very happy for me that i found a place that made me feel at home and i know she would be just as excited for my journey as i am and i know that even though i miss her the pain i feel every day is a reminder that i am alive and i need to be thankful for all that has been given to me and to continue to learn and to grow as a person.
So to you i would like to wish you a very happy and sweet new year, Shana Tov!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
A little background
Let me introduce myself, my name is David and I am going to be taking you on my journey as I convert to Judaism. I was raised reorganized latter day saint and never really felt at home there or comfortable in my skin there so I only went to church because my grandmother wanted me to. The teachings never spoke to me so my faith was very lacking but dont get me wrong i am a very spiritual person was just not a fan of the organized religion.
My partner and i moved to kansas city in 2001 when he got a teaching job here at the jewish day school. He went to the bar and bat mitzvahs and i did my own thing. He had work friends here and they became my friends too and then they became our framily (friends and family) and a wonderful support system. I settled into the role of the non jew and welcomed celebrating the holidays with my framily and enjoyed learning the reasons behind them but never felt the need to convert.
That all changed! Danny spent 3 weeks in Israel last summer (2010) and you could tell how home sick he was for it. Then I decided that i needed and wanted to convert to get that feeling that i was missing. Then this past summer (2011) I got the most amazing gift a human being could ever want. Danny's dad and mom who over the 11 years have become my dad and mom took the family on vacation! All 11 of us met up in Israel, well 7 of them live there but that isnt the point. I got to go to Israel! I can not even begin to explain the emotions that went through me in preparation for my journey to what is now in my heart home. The packing, the buying of books for the long plane ride, the excitement of going someplace new. When the plane landed at Ben-Gurion airport in Israel everyone clapped for joy and i felt it as well. I walked off the plane for what seemed like eternity and the whole time thinking I am home. I was tired and so very energized and wanted to go go go! I was the last family member to arrive and could not wait to seem them all again, for the members that live in Israel it had been 3 years + since i had seen them and I missed seeing my nephew and my nieces! I was so happy to get to them all and hug everyone and just sit and talk, even though they are all fluent in hebrew and would slip into it on occasion it didnt matter because i was in Israel with my family.
The next two weeks were amazing! Danny and I went to so many wonderful places and saw so many amazing things and as each day passed I knew this was and will always be home in my heart. I am crying just thinking about it and how much i miss being there. There were so many beautiful places there so many spiritual places there i was sad, happy, in awe it was just a very emotional two weeks for sure. I only have one well actually two regrets from that trip. The first regret is that i was never able to take my mother to visit Israel because she had always wanted to go but she passed away from cancer but I know she was with me in spirit and was as much in awe as i was. The second is we never made it to Masada which is one place my mom always wanted to go. We will go and we will climb to the top to watch the sun rise and i will say a prayer on top of Masada for my mom next time I am there.
But back to my journey. So now i am back in kansas city and needing and wanting to convert what does a person do. I called a rabbi at the synagogue where danny teaches and she gave me some information on the community conversion class and it actually started that week. Rabbi Harris and i scheduled an appointment to meet in a couple of weeks and i went to class. If it is at all possible after talking with Rabbi Harris i was even more energized and excited about my journey and looking forward to the work and the learning and the homework! I am really starting to feel alive again in my soul!
The classes are wonderful. we have learned about the high holy days that are fast approaching and the history and the reasons for them. the class is quiet, including myself, but i am sure we will start speaking out more as we get more comfortable. We travel to most of the synagogues here and our speakers are the rabbis from the community so it is very well rounded.
Danny and i go very regularly to shabbat services on friday night at congregation beth torah and i look forward to it all week. to me there is no better way to end the work week then with a wonderful service with song, prayer and learning from the torah and doing it all with a wonderful community of people! thank you to them all for making me feel so welcome there.
Thank you for joining me on my journey!
David
My partner and i moved to kansas city in 2001 when he got a teaching job here at the jewish day school. He went to the bar and bat mitzvahs and i did my own thing. He had work friends here and they became my friends too and then they became our framily (friends and family) and a wonderful support system. I settled into the role of the non jew and welcomed celebrating the holidays with my framily and enjoyed learning the reasons behind them but never felt the need to convert.
That all changed! Danny spent 3 weeks in Israel last summer (2010) and you could tell how home sick he was for it. Then I decided that i needed and wanted to convert to get that feeling that i was missing. Then this past summer (2011) I got the most amazing gift a human being could ever want. Danny's dad and mom who over the 11 years have become my dad and mom took the family on vacation! All 11 of us met up in Israel, well 7 of them live there but that isnt the point. I got to go to Israel! I can not even begin to explain the emotions that went through me in preparation for my journey to what is now in my heart home. The packing, the buying of books for the long plane ride, the excitement of going someplace new. When the plane landed at Ben-Gurion airport in Israel everyone clapped for joy and i felt it as well. I walked off the plane for what seemed like eternity and the whole time thinking I am home. I was tired and so very energized and wanted to go go go! I was the last family member to arrive and could not wait to seem them all again, for the members that live in Israel it had been 3 years + since i had seen them and I missed seeing my nephew and my nieces! I was so happy to get to them all and hug everyone and just sit and talk, even though they are all fluent in hebrew and would slip into it on occasion it didnt matter because i was in Israel with my family.
The next two weeks were amazing! Danny and I went to so many wonderful places and saw so many amazing things and as each day passed I knew this was and will always be home in my heart. I am crying just thinking about it and how much i miss being there. There were so many beautiful places there so many spiritual places there i was sad, happy, in awe it was just a very emotional two weeks for sure. I only have one well actually two regrets from that trip. The first regret is that i was never able to take my mother to visit Israel because she had always wanted to go but she passed away from cancer but I know she was with me in spirit and was as much in awe as i was. The second is we never made it to Masada which is one place my mom always wanted to go. We will go and we will climb to the top to watch the sun rise and i will say a prayer on top of Masada for my mom next time I am there.
But back to my journey. So now i am back in kansas city and needing and wanting to convert what does a person do. I called a rabbi at the synagogue where danny teaches and she gave me some information on the community conversion class and it actually started that week. Rabbi Harris and i scheduled an appointment to meet in a couple of weeks and i went to class. If it is at all possible after talking with Rabbi Harris i was even more energized and excited about my journey and looking forward to the work and the learning and the homework! I am really starting to feel alive again in my soul!
The classes are wonderful. we have learned about the high holy days that are fast approaching and the history and the reasons for them. the class is quiet, including myself, but i am sure we will start speaking out more as we get more comfortable. We travel to most of the synagogues here and our speakers are the rabbis from the community so it is very well rounded.
Danny and i go very regularly to shabbat services on friday night at congregation beth torah and i look forward to it all week. to me there is no better way to end the work week then with a wonderful service with song, prayer and learning from the torah and doing it all with a wonderful community of people! thank you to them all for making me feel so welcome there.
Thank you for joining me on my journey!
David
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)