One piece of my journey on the way to becoming a Jew is to write a journal and discuss some specific questions to see how I am progressing and what I am learning. So for the month of November there are the five questions.
Question One: To the best of my knowledge, Judaism is many things. In the most simple of answers Judaism is a religion. To me it is so much more than an organized religion. Judaism is constant soul searching making sure you are doing the right thing in Gods eye. It is being a part of a community whether it is the synagogue you belong to or a group of friends or your family or a bigger community of Israel. I was not born jewish so I don’t have my family to fall back on but I have all of my friends that are and will be a great support and learning tool for me on my journey. As far as my community of synagogue I am not a member but I feel very at home and look forward to going to services and find the Friday night Shabbat service the perfect way to end the work week and prepare for Shabbat.
Question Two: To the best of my knowledge God is my judge and my role model. I will ultimately be judged by God on my actions in my life. Every year on Yom Kippur one hopes that they have lived a good life and done the right thing so they are inscribed into the book of life for another year. So each year we are judged by God on our actions. God would also be a role model from the stand point that God gave us the torah with the lessons on how to live our lives and although we can never be perfect we should strive to be like God in the choices that we make.
Question Three: At this time, I find the following the most attractive or most appealing about Judaism. One thing that I find appealing is the fact that when I go to Shabbat services I am taught the torah, the sermons are about how to live the torah. I am there to learn to be uplifted to be rejuvenated. Being raised a christian and going to church on Sunday was a chore. The sermon was not so much about teaching how to live a good life but lecturing on how bad we were. It was not a teaching experience it was someone on the pulpit lecturing you on how bad of a human being you are. The other thing I find incredibly appealing is the fact that Judaism is so forgiving and welcoming. You are held accountable for your actions but if you put the work into asking for forgiveness it will be granted to you by God and by the people you have wronged.
Question Four: At this time, the following most disappoints me or disturbs me about Judaism. At this point in my journey there is nothing tangible that I can say disturbs me but as my journey progresses I will update this question. The only thing for me and it is an intangible and I have no specific examples is the fact that for a religion to have such a community there seems to be a lot of separation.
Question Five: I am here because after wandering through life for 44 years I finally found what I was looking for and missing in my life. I found a community, a spiritual path, an environment to learn and continue to learn but most of all I found my anchor and strengthened my belief in God! I was not lucky enough to be born Jewish but I am lucky enough to be able to choose to be a Jew and know that it is what I want deep in my heart. I have to work at it, earn it and at the end of the day, or in this case the end of the conversion process, I know I will be a better person and have a stronger faith in God and in myself
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