Now What?

Well as summer is winding down I am now sitting here and thinking "Now What?". 

I am in a strange spot and I am not sure what to do about it.  I have enough knowledge to follow services and know what I am supposed to do but that is about it.  Conversion class taught us a lot of information, in generalities but I want more but I am not sure where to go.  I feel like I dont belong anywhere, not in a bad way, but just I am not sure what is next.

A good friend of mine told me that when I went to the mikvah I gained my Jewish soul, one that has been waiting for me my whole life, nudging me and nagging me to convert so that we could be one.  It seems kind of out there at first but the more I think about it the more it makes sense.  My soul is hungry for knowledge but for what I am not sure.  I find kabalah  very interesting but where to go to find a source that will challenge me but not frustrate me with my lack of knowledge.

I thought joining the adult education committee for my synagogue would be a great outlet for me but after the first meeting I was so over whelmed that I stepped down.  It was not anything anyone did or said, I just feel at this point I have nothing to contribute and that saddens me greatly.  At my bar mitzvah I talked about me being the only Jew in my family and it was up to me to leave my Jewish legacy behind and I got nothing. 

I am back out in the wilderness wandering lost looking for what it is I need to be doing and I know I will find it but I just hope it is soon because this feeling is very frustrating to me.  There is so much information out there but how do you know if it is good, correct, etc.  I need a Jewish 201 class STAT!